The Fountain of Truth

  So far in my life, I would like to think I've managed to stay outside the stereotypical box  that accompanies my age group.
    When I was 18, I did not straighten the life out of my hair. I was not a social addict. I was able to see past the screen on my phone. I savored other "amaaazing" beverages besides Frappuccinos (I can't tell you how much I hate that term) and strawberry smoothies. And I was aware that there is a world outside the Jordan Creek Panera.
       Generally speaking, so far, so good. But that doesn't mean I'm home free. Lately I can't seem to stop "what if"-ing.

 When I turn 46, am I going to be able to discuss other things besides gardening and my experience with Slim Fast? Will I tuck blouses into my jeans? Will I take pride in using coupons, and will it take me 6 minutes to decide I want a vanilla latte?? Will I be able to write less than 9-sentence posts on social networking sites?

  When I turn 76, am I going to be that lady in the front row at a Gaither concert, obliviously clapping off-beat to "Roses will Bloom Again"? Will I greet the dawn before it greets me?? Will I take 18 minutes to decide I want chicken salad, black coffee and a lemon bar? Will the needle on my speedometer ever live to see the speed limit? What kind of sweaters will my wardrobe claim? Will I believe everything I'm told?

   I totally get that aging is a gift, but the mannerisms-- it worries me, you guys.


Haphazard Thoughts

 -I remember in school I used to hear about how the Pilgrims had to eat succotash on the Mayflower. It always sounded so gross to me. Sort of like it "sucked tash". Turns out it's good stuff! I even make a salsa version.

   -I have 198 hangers in my house, each of which are occupied. Can you see why I opted to forfeit shopping for Lent?

  -When young  people say, "Live with no regrets", does that translate: "Don't do stupid things you'll regret", or "Don't regret the stupid things you do" ?

  -To me, seeing old people use cell phones is like seeing a monkey ride a bike. Only louder and  with more confusion.

  -I've had a lot of spare time since giving up shopping and facebook games for Lent. I've done a great deal of organizing, including the pantry. And hey, at the bottom, I finally found a set of hand weights I've been missing for months. Pity-- I got a lot of exercise looking for those things.


The Bitter Cold: Part 2

How not to keep it when you have it.  This is the one where I really get on my soapbox.
    You cannot continue living like you are not sick!! You cannot eat sugar like you normally do. You cannot keep drinking diet Dew and getting 4 hours of sleep. Your body is ill now, and it's your job to nurture it from your neglect.
    My fool-proof methods for shortening the lifespan of a cold:
P-robiotics. Go to the vitamin section and buy acidophilus. It will demolish almost ANYTHING that tries to demolish you.
A-pple Cider Vinegar. It's an antimicrobial.
I- ngest liquids. NO caffeine or alcohol. None!!!
G-arlic. Also an antimicrobial.
E-at wisely. And minimally. Your body needs that digestion energy to fight.
     And for God's sake, don't leave your house unless you absolutely have to.


The Bitter Cold: Part 1

  How not to get it:
 It's goin' around. It's rare that I get sick anymore, but when I do, my mind suddenly plays a marathon of all those moments I regret. "I should have held my breath walking past that congested toddler. I should have washed my hands before I put that mint in my mouth. I should have taken a shower after watching those reruns of Divorce Court." Prevent the regret by preventing the mistake!! These are some tips that are, frankly, embarrassingly obvious-- and embarrassingly neglected. 
    For starters, carry hand sanitizer. Use it before EVERY time you eat out (side your home, that is...). Use it after you handle change, use a computer, change a diaper. For God's sake, USE IT!
   DON'T touch your eyes, mouth, nose, FACE, unless you have JUST washed your hands. Make a habit of washing your hands every time you come home.
 Take vitamins before and after being in crowded areas for lengthy amounts of time. (More on that in my next blog.) Stay away from sick people. Don't play invincible. Don't be a moron. 
   And just throwing this out there: I have not had a legitimate cold since I became a vegetarian. ...Knock on wood.
  Common sense? Yes. Commonly exercised? Uhhh...